Step 4: Use a Numbing Agent

There are many numbing agents out there, many based on lidocaine. What you will be doing in this step is applying a topical anesthetic to the inside walls of your vagina.

1. Purchase a topical numbing cream. If you want to purchase one yourself, I recommend a 5% lidocaine cream, such as Dr. Numb Topical Numbing Cream . If you want a gel instead of a cream, I recommend Topicaine . Another option is to visit your gynecologist to request a prescription for it. They will be able to prescribe you something that you are not allergic to and that will best meet your needs, but it might cost a bit more.

2. Apply the cream with your finger to the inner wall of the vagina. Don't use more than it says on the container - usually one fingerful is plenty.

3. Wait a few minutes. These topical creams can take up to 30 minutes to kick in.

4. With a partner's penis, your finger, or a dilator, attempt penetration. It's okay if you tense up at first - just relax and try again until it works. Stop trying if it starts hurting significantly.

5. Try this multiple times over a few weeks. Your vagina will become more accustomed to having objects inside of it without pain.

6. Slowly wean yourself off the numbing cream. Use less and less until you are having successful penetration without it.

If you don't see success with the numbing agent, you will be in need of the final step: visiting a sex therapist.